#3 - Does Work Own One's Life? w/ JR Krcmar
In this episode, I talk to JR Krcmar. We chat about parenting, making a living, the difference between passion and purpose, and so much more.
Anytime that I've ever made a jump in my career has been right after a major failure or the need, oh, hell, we're having another kid, man. We got to make more money. Let's go get it. Do you know? And you've got to you that drive kicks in. But if my children can see me fail and then see me stand back up and better myself from that point, then when they get knocked down, which they're going to right, they are going to, I hope so they do. Is that they're going to go, Hey look, man, I've seen this done before. This is going to happen. I can get back up and I can swing harder next time.
Welcome to doing the work. If you're okay with living a boring life with below average results, this is not your podcast. Go ahead and tune out now. But if you want to live an amazing life full of purpose, love, joy, abundance, and elite health and fitness. You've come to the right place. This podcast is for people who are ready to stop making excuses and start doing the work that creates a life that they love. I'm your host, eighth and Schindler and airborne ranger turned social worker turned to strength. Coach turned entrepreneur. I've spent my entire life learning how to be uncommon among the uncommon. I found my purpose and empowered people to reach their full potential. And this podcast takes a deep dive into how to prioritize. What matters is that the work owns your life, maintains compassion and kindness and risks failure while enjoying every moment along the way?
Does Work Own One’s Life?
I talk to people who inspire me and share their gifts with me. This is my way of helping you find what sets you on fire and keeps the fire burning that doing the work podcast is brought to you by the bass drop fitness project. Bass drops hub for health and wellness. Check them out at www dot bash, drop fitness, project.com. All right, everybody. Welcome to the show. I am super excited to have you on the show Jr. Everybody, this is Jr Kirschbaumer. I'm going to set the scene just a little bit. It's around January 2017. I had been in conversations with Brandon about buying strive and so we had negotiated to purchase a drive and then I'd worked everything out with Garrett who was the previous owner. So, both of these guys had negotiated with me buying Stride and Garrett had kind of warned me like, Hey, we've got a really tight-knit community and the four 30 class, the four 30 classes, the famous four 30 class.
And you know, he's kinda, you know, he's, he just kind of gave me the heads up, you know, you're not from the bass drop you're, you're this guy from Austin who's you know, people aren't going to necessarily be sure who you are, so just be yourself. And so as I come in one of those first classes, I'm going to coach you in that class and it's that tight-knit group, that community, and instantly I felt welcomed and I felt embraced. And you were a big part of that. And since that point, you and I have obviously become good friends. I've watched you grow in your career and family and everything else. And so you've just been such an inspiration to me. I'm just so excited to have you on the show today, dude.
It's really hard when everybody out there knows after that awesome introduction, just prepare to be a little bit let down, because that was absolutely beautiful. So I appreciate that man. Same thing. Yeah, that four 30 group was fun. I was all, you know, smack talk, having a good time, really good friends. And yeah, I do remember the day that you walked in there and all I had heard was an ex-army ranger and all that other good stuff. And I guess you can never really say ex-army ranger. So army rangers came in from Austin and, and Mandy walked in the door and we gave you a little. You jumped right in and took off with it. And it was love at first sight, man, love it. The rest is history 100%.
It's been so awesome. Just, and then of course the brief rest of that history is when I moved from Austin to the bass job. And now we're basically neighbours. We live around the corner, we're here at your beautiful jewish home. You've been here for a year. We've been here
Right at a year.
Yeah. But your brand new pool and we're underneath your pool house and it's just so awesome to have seen all that growth. Let's just start with like what do you do for a living, a little bit about that?
Well, so for 17 years, I've owned a farmer's insurance agency. About three years ago, a couple of buddies of mine opened up a supplement company. Obviously, fitness has always been a passion. And then now currently working on a new venture of actually building a manufacturing facility. So all of that good stuff while trying to finish my degree and raise three kids and you know, and raise myself cause I'm kidding. Number four in our household. And yeah, that's pretty much what I do. And nowadays,
So, that brings up a question for me. It's like, obviously you're self-driven, you work for yourself and in several capacities you know, where does that come from? Is that where you were raised around business owners or did you kind of work?
The way into that man? Actually, I really wasn't. I was raised I don't want to say poor cause we, I, you know, we had everything we needed, I never missed a meal or anything else like that, but I just, you know, came from very humble beginnings and started working really early on because, you know, if I wanted nice things, my parents said, well, work for it. And you know, my first truck I bought when I was 15 years old, actually from my parents, they made me buy my first truck from them. You know, it wasn't a hand me down and gave me, and at the time I thought, wow, these people were kind of blackheads. And what I now realize is being a parent is what they were trying to teach me early on was if you want something, you go and you work it and you go get it.
And so I've, I've you know, I'm trying now to instil that into my children as well, but, but for me, it's always been, you know, that, that drive of wanting to do better and provide and, you know, and the sense of accomplishment of whenever you actually get something yourself and you bust your butt for it. And you know, I, everybody wishes that they were born into the super-rich family and just got handed a bunch, which, you know if you are, and that was your situation, congrats to you, but I definitely was not. And I've always, I kind of just developed that early on. And, from that point, it became fun and it became about the game and about continuing to grow and push not necessarily wanting more, you know, a lot of times you see successful people and you think God, are they just not happy? And, I think sometimes people need to realize it's not that they're not happy and they just want more, cause they want more stuff. They liked the build and the build is actually what is bringing them the joy, you know, now financially, obviously it does make sense as well with that build. But, but for me, that's what it is. It's the creation of something.
Yeah. And that's what it is for me to I'm not what you said right there resonated with me so much because I, you know, as a business owner you know, with several different ventures and areas, it's not about what I, what can I gain or what can I, you know, how much money can I make, but it's, it's more about the fun of the creativity, the excitement of creation. And it's about how can I give, like, what are the many different ways that I can give my gifts to the world? And that's how I see you too. Like, you, engage yourself in activities where you, you know, who you are and, you know, when you have to give to the world. And so you put yourself in positions to give your gifts. And I see that all the time, you know, not only in your work but with your family and all of that. So I love seeing that. Well, thank you for that. I appreciate that. So you mentioned the supplement company, tell us a little bit about that and tell us you know, how did that all come about and all that?
So I actually had a buddy of mine that I coached with, I coached his kids in baseball and he owned a supplement company. So he's one of my business partners, obviously, that's where the story is going. And we had always talked about supplements and kind of, what the issues with the industry I was, you know, in, in the industry he was in and, you know, I kinda got a couple of ideas. I was like, well, why don't you do this? And then I had another buddy who was, you know, very interested in supplements. He needed to bulk up. He was actually at a movie. And so he needed it, he had a role, he had to boat a bulk up for. And so he actually asked me about supplements because we were working out together.
Well, I kind of took A and B and jumped in and, you know, made them make that happen. And that's how we created flow. So it actually started out of a passion project on trying to get something good because you know, right now in the supplement industry, you know, everything's, it's, we always like to all right, it's not, we always like to say, but, you know, I think it's more profit over people and that's, what's happening in the supplement industry is that so many things are just watered down so much you know, in order to make a bigger profit. And so we kind of saw an opportunity to go in there and, and I don't want to say, make a boutiquey brand, but make a brand that was, you know, very high quality and somewhat affordable. You know, when you put really high-quality stuff in, you're not going to get the cheapest supplement out there. But we, you know, people find money to pay for the things that they want and that they see that they need. And if they have an understanding of it, you know, $10 on a bottle of protein really isn't that much more to pay for good high quality. So that's kinda how, how flow started. And that's kind of where we're at now and we're doing our best to try to stay in that exact same mode three years later down the road.
Yeah. And, and the, even from the early stages where you had talked to me, I have this idea, this is something I'm working on. One of the things I deeply appreciated about those conversations that we had was exactly what you just said. It was people first, it was about quality. It wasn't about just, Hey, this is a way for me to move, make quick money or, or cause as we all know that the supplement, or maybe not everyone does know, but the supplement industry is a bazillion dollar industry. Huge. And there are people out there cutting corners and doing crazy stuff to just, just to basically tap into that, a cash cow that it can be. And you guys have elected not to do that.
Yeah. We actually, a little funny, funny side note. That's not too funny, but none of us has taken a dime out of the company yet. We're, we're three years in, we've continued R&D and continued to grow the brand, and nobody's taken a dollar from the company. I mean, we've just continued to try to grow and, and eventually when we can get it to where the volume is there, obviously we're buying supplements cheaper at that point in time. So that's when the money will come later, but we've done a really good job of saying here's mission and staying on that mission. And we haven't really veered from it at all. So it's been kind of cool. I mean, it's, it's funny to have a job that you're working that, you know, there's no money in that account, but it's still, it's such a passion and it's, it's, it's enjoyable where, you know, the no money coming along with it, knowing that you're building something that eventually will pay off. But, getting back to the point of the actual build is the enjoyment. So, it's been a crazy road. I've taken supplements for a long time, but never really gotten into the supplement games. And it's been three years of just straight learning, which once again is so much fun to do just to learn.
You and that's, that's so many of the things that started for me, like, it sounds like how it started for you was like, Hey, I found this, as this opportunity came to me. I was being who I am. I was being a friend to a friend and I was being healthy. And this, this, this, this opportunity to me, I didn't go seeking it. Correct. And you saw that opportunity come to you, and you chose to engage in it. Like you mentioned the word pat, a passion or, and you guys are kind of navigating these first few years out of all that. And I think that that's how the best endeavours start. I know for myself, most of the businesses that I've started, I didn't make money on them or have maybe never really made money on them. But the payment that I've received is out of purpose. And now I'm learning how to tie my purpose into actually making my money both because there's, yeah, I think some people are under the impression that you have to be starving, you know, you know, you have to starve yourself to death.
If you have to grind to be successful, you do. I mean, you definitely do. And there are growing pains and there's, you know, being a business owner, it is very tough. I mean, most small businesses fail because they start out of straight passion without people understanding what it is like to be a business owner. Very early on in my career with starting my agency, it kept getting brought up in sales meetings about the bakers, keep going out of business, people that bake. And, I finally raised my hand one day, cause I was like, okay, you keep talking about these people that bake being failures. Why, what do you mean by that? And they said, well, we don't mean failures, but, but somebody loves to bake. And that's what they do as a passion. So all they're doing is cooking and baking and oh man, somebody got a cake, they loved it and they go, Hey, can I pay you to make me one?
Well, next thing you know, the business opportunity starts to grow well, fast forwarding that to once they have that business, they're so busy doing all the business owner stuff that they haven't put together a cake in a year. So what they, what they started out of a passion now turns into, I don't, I'm not even getting to do what the hell I wanted to do. And so it's funny because sometimes you also have to know, not wait when not to be a business owner to go work for someone else, let somebody else that wants to be the business owner, take that side and you go bake. If that's your just straight passion, you're going to hit all the fumbles in the road and learn how to try to do them both. And that's why I think most people, you know, that grind is trying to figure out how to keep the passion and run the business at the same time. I think that's the hard part.
That's a really hard part because almost everybody who starts a business more often than not, started as a technician, right. They started as y'all help to that. And so they're like, I love this so much. So now I'm going to start a business in this. And, for many people that's a step too far. Correct. I shouldn't have done that. But there's no way to learn. You know, I was in that boat. I was a coach. I was a trainer. I love doing that. I wanted to do it for free if I didn't have to make money. And, so then I had to really make a lot of, you know, I jumped into the business world and really had to, I asked myself many times, is this something I really want to do? I'm on my own. Of course, the answer was yes, because I'm still doing it and I'm still in love with it. You've mentioned a couple of times just in this conversation, the word passion, and I have a love, hate relationship with the word passion. Yeah. And, so I'm curious about your perspective, on the difference between passion and purpose, do you make a distinction between passion and purpose and if so, do you ever think about it.
Difference Between Passion and Purpose
Yeah, I think that that's a very blurry line. I mean, it really is right because then you're kind of, I feel like you're almost getting into the, and that's a great question by the way. So I'm not tearing apart the question, but there's no right answer.
Good. We're not in jeopardy. Okay, great. But I think it's just it at that point, when you ask that question, if, if they are so closely aligned, then it's almost a nitpicky question, you know, if there, and not once again, that in a bad way, right. Not nitpicking a bad way, but it's one of those things where it's that you really have to sit back in your seat and go, well, my passion is that I want to help people. You know, that's why, you know, who the hell likes selling auto insurance. Nobody does. There's nothing sexy about selling auto insurance, but it's helping people, explaining, educating them. Those are the types of things that have always made the insurance industry. For me it was just the people themselves, same with the supplement company. I get such great satisfaction out of hearing.
Hey, I started taking all this protein, you know, I've started eating better, I've lost this much weight, you know, and then they have questions about other things and you, you kind of start engaging with people and you realize, man, I'm really helping people out. You know, I really, really am. And so I think that that's definitely a calling and it's also a passion at the same time. So I can't answer that question. I think it's such a fine line. I think they're two complete opposite words yet sitting side-by-side at the exact same time. And I think that's a hard one for me.
And I don't know the answer either, but sometimes, and I might, who knows, I may have read it or heard it on a podcast somewhere, but to me there's something inside of me that says like, passion is fleeting. When I think of passion, I think, you're a high school sweetheart, which you might've married at your school. This is not a good argument. Don't listen to him. Right. Yeah. But for a lot of people, you know, that hot one
That puppy love. It didn't, you know, we, we did just bring up the high school sweetheart in that passion and, and, you know, so luckily we've actually grown together and a lot of people that got married about the same time we did actually grew apart. And I think that's the passion and the purpose. You could actually take that exact same example and go, well, sometimes this works out perfectly to where that passion, that purpose aligns. And sometimes it goes the exact opposite way. And I mean, I think that's with the explanation I tried to give the first time. I think that's probably a really good illustration of what I meant.
So, maybe it's that it starts with a passion and it doesn't become a purpose unless you do some work, correct. You, go the step further, you know, and you probably have to learn some skills and you probably have to.
Learn and fail a lot. And if those bumps,
Maybe then you decide whether or not that's going to be a part of your life, short term purpose.
Yeah. I would definitely be down with that for sure. What is that explanation on it? Awesome. Yeah.
I'm curious about that. Cause I talk to a lot of other business owners and staff and, and generally, they'll say one way or the other, like this, is what I'm doing for a living has nothing to do with my purpose. Sure. It's just how I make my living or it's the opposite. It's like, no, I'm, this is who I am, you know?
And I think those are the lucky ones. I think the people that can, that can have those align so close, I think they're extremely lucky. And you know you know, the old saying is, you know, find something you love and you'll never work another day in your life. And I mean, I, that is, you know, cliches are cliches for a reason, right? I mean, it's, it gets told over and over again, you know, just because it is so true. And I think that there's a lot of people that, you know, are in the corporate world and we're doing it just to support a family and can't go, can't afford to go and do their passion for one, because they're financially dependent upon that full-time job. And for too, they're scared to take that leap, especially with me, if, if right now, if I had an eight to five job and it wasn't my passion or my purpose, I've got three little kiddos to watch out for.
So, you know can I chase my passion, you know, with going all right, I have these responsibilities. You know, my passion would literally put us in a one-bedroom apartment. I mean, when I first started my insurance agency, we were married for about a year and a half and we moved in with my in-laws. And, it was actually my in-law's idea. Cause I found an office space I wanted to lease well, it was about what we were paying in rent. And they said, why don't you go and rent the place and come live with us for free. That way you can get your office and your business off the ground. So we were so fortunate to have somebody like that. And I'll, I'll, you know, I'll always be grateful to them for that, but a lot of people don't have that option. You know, those good people that are sitting there that are, that are willing to back you and believe in you and actually give you that hand up, you know?
Yeah. There have been so many people who've helped me, you know, you can't you when you look at your successes, you know, it's, it's hard not to, it's hard to accept credit for those successes sometimes because it often takes a story like yours and we've all had many people who've helped us. Who’s helped us get there? So yeah, so I'm going to shift gears just a little bit because I met you in the world of fitness and health, you are trying to optimize your health and your fitness, and I've known for sure. That's always been a theme in your since I've known you have always been a theme and obviously, you've started a supplement company. And so I'd like to hear a little bit about how fitness plays, what's your perspective on fitness? How does it play into your life? And maybe you can even share with us how you pull it off, given all this busy-ness.
Role of Perspective
What do you have? You've got a lot of other things going on. But how do you stay healthy and fit? Yeah. So I guess first we'll go, we'll go to the reasoning behind it. I mean, I've always been, I enjoyed athletics you know, obviously playing sports in school. I ran track in college. I didn't really run track. I pole vaulted. Many track people will tell you, no, you didn't run track you Paul Bolton. And I ran a little way. I ran really the shortest amount of time, other than shot put and discus that I possibly could in order to do an event because we had to do something in the offseason and I was AF way D so with it. But so for me, it's taking care of my body. I mean, if you talk to my doctor, he thinks I'm a hypochondriac because I want to give blood three times a year.
I want to know where my levels are. I want to know that I'm okay. My kids can't stand me sometimes, cause we'd go out to dinner and I will not let them get Cokes. Right. It's very few and far between. I let them drink a Coke and I don't drink a Coke unless it has a crown in it or some type of bourbon. You know, so for me, it's always been, I've been very health conscious as far as, as, as making sure that I'm healthy and I eat halfway decent, at least. And then it becomes addictive. I mean, I can't, you know, my wife will tell you the days that I don't work out because I'm a Butthead, you know, it's just, I need that in my life. I have to have that. And, and for so long, I would just try to fit in a workout whenever I could, because you mentioned how busy, and most people are busy.
I mean, hell if you have one kid or no kids or whatever, life, you know, employer's life, businesses, children, spouses, or whatever you want to throw out there, they will take every minute that you're willing to give. And so at some point, you have to, you have to go, okay, this is me, you know, and, and a lot of parents, and I'll get to this in a second. Cause my wife falls into this very, very badly, not very badly, that was wrong wording, but, but I had to schedule a time in which is why the four 30 works because it was, it was on the schedule. You know, my office manager knows he will not be here, do not schedule anything past 3:45 because he is walking out that door at four 20, you know? And it's non-negotiable, this is what's happening now.
I go at noon every day. So at 12 o'clock, you know, I'm heading to the gym and I go and I work out and it's, it's a non-negotiable 12 o'clock every single day because that's the only way that I can control and things don't pop up because I used to get so frustrated whenever I had a time in mind that I was going to go and something pops up that I couldn't say no to ever fails. It never fails. And so you know, one day turns into two turns into three and it just continues to roll. So, you know, you have to be selfish at that point and selfish typically when people say it is such a bad thing, but it's not a bad thing. You know, my wife works her butt off, right. She was an elementary school principal until this year.
She's now a director of HR. And so under, during the summer they work four tens. Well, she lives 45 minutes away. So she leaves at 6:00 AM in the morning. And if she gets home by six, it was a good day. Well, she doesn't want to take the time away from our children to work out. And she says, I feel so guilty. I feel so guilty. And, and that is a very hard thing because you understand it. But at the same time, you have to go at, and this is my perspective, and this is what I tell her. And just my opinion only by the way, but you need to be selfish because your body needs that. Especially if you're so busy, you need that in your life. Because not only it's not physical, right? I mean, some of it, a lot of it is physical for people alive is physical for people. But for me, it's so much mental, you know, and, and through quarantine, we kept having people reach out, going, you know, Hey, I'm, I'm stuck at home. What can I do? So we were, you know, I was writing little programs for people, you know, do you remember.
You guys were posting them
Online, going look, I'm at home. You know, I have a concept, two rowers in my garage. Most of you don't, but let's do this today and do something to keep active because it's so mental for me as well. I mean, obviously, I like to look good, but now I don't want to look good. And you know, when you look good, you feel good. You, it, it changes everything about your perspective. But for me, it's so mental. I mean, and it's, that's my time. And, that's something I'm not willing to give up. And, if it's selfish for me to do that, then I'm going to be selfish this one hour out of my day.
Well, I think you nailed it in, and again, as a coach and as a gym owner you know, I hear all the excuses about why people either don't get started or can't stay consistent with their fitness. And one of the things that, that I believe wholeheartedly and that, that you touched on while you were just talking, is that, is this idea about, well, I am more optimal. I am at my best. I'm not an when you get your book, right. When I've exercised my body when I've gotten my, when I, you know, the blood is flowing, you know, the hormones are working, you know, all the serotonin and all this stuff that comes along with that. So, and the opposite is, and you also touched on your family history and about how you, you know, I want to try and circle back around to that in a second. But, but the opposite of that is, what are you taking away from your family when you're not healthy?
No, a hundred per cent. That's what you're teaching your children. Right. You know, I'm taking away way more time at the end of my life, if I'm not. And I'm also teaching my children that this is what you do. This is how you're successful.
You know, not just at the end of your life, not to cut you off, but each day you're not doing your best for your kids. You know how I'm not saying that you can place blame on everything, but how often are we snapping on our kids all the time or not? And how much of that can we attribute to our physical health and our wellbeing?
Physical Health and Well-Being
Yeah. I would say a lot. I mean, you know, when you're, I feel like, for myself, I'm a way calmer, cool, and collected whenever I've had that during the day, you know, and then in also not even to my children, but whenever I'm back at the office, I mean, you know, a client walks in at 1130 and wants to get a quote and this and that and the other, and in my mind, I'm like, God, what the man, what are you thinking coming in here right now? I just made money. You know, I put more food on the table for my children. I should be happy about that. But it's so programmed in that, this is, this is a non-negotiable for me. It has to be. So, I mean, when that does happen, obviously I don't turn down the business and say, look, I'm sorry, I'm fixing to go work out.
You've got to leave, you know, go to a state farm or somewhere else. But what I do is then once I have my children down, then, then I go work out and it's a late-night workout, or I set my alarm and I get up earlier and I go to the gym really early in the morning. And does that suck? Yes. It sucks. I'm not a morning person. I would much rather work out at 11 o'clock at night than five o'clock in the morning. And I would do that every day. No problem. If you give me the opportunity, but I think that it's it, you know, get up an hour earlier. If you can't find any other time in your day, actually Jim's way better at that point in time, by the way, if you can get up.
That early, no one is trying to schedule anything with you at
Five o'clock because everybody else is sleeping, but you know, when so many people go, you know, well, I need that sleep. I need to sleep well, you really don't get up an hour earlier and you actually sleep way harder. There are so many studies and you cannot find one that says one hour less of sleep. If working out is bad for you, nobody will say that unless you're sleeping two hours a night, you just cut it by 50%, but it's so beneficial. And I actually had this conversation with somebody the other day, when I said, look, two weeks, just do it two weeks straight, and then come tell me how hard it is to get up in the morning.
You've talked about this several times, it's about creating structure. Sure. Do you know, discipline to create the structure, you know, that's what's going to set you free. Absolutely. And like you said, I have the discipline to, to section this time off and I hold myself to it. And if I can't, for whatever reason, I have the discipline to go to plan B. Correct. Do you know? And not just enough people understand that that's what is.
Yeah. And, and I think, all right, I'm going to catch you on that one there. So I think it's that people understand, I think it's that getting started, people are so worried about and, and, and what I think they don't understand. So I will jump on board with you on this one because if you did give it the two to three weeks, that it just becomes such a good thing. I mean, who the hell likes starting back up and that soreness and pain of it are the pain of the restart. I mean, I did that with CrossFit a couple of times, you know, I'd go, oh, I'm going to take two weeks off and give my body some time, because we've been doing hard workouts. And in me, if there's an RX plus on the board, you know, I mean, why the hell, not you're already there.
So then you hurt, you know? And so I would take, try to take a week or two off, which turns into six weeks. And then at that point, it's just, oh my God, I'm not gonna be able to wipe my butt for a week. You know, that's, that re getting started is so hard, but I, you know, I did, this is way back in the days, like way, way back in the day. But we did one time we actually went through and we did Tony Horton's P90X. The one thing that has always stuck with me, I mean, as goofy as that dude was, I love the fact that he always just said, just push play. And that is just the hardest.
Part is walking out the door.
That was it. Just push play, I'll take care of the rest for you. And that's the greatest thing. The greatest thing about group classes was there were days that I was tired. You know, I go in at four 30, if you're up early in the morning and you're, you know, especially when we had kids and they were so young and you're not sleeping at night, you know, dragging your butt there. And all I could ever think was just, just put your shorts on and just show up somebody there is going to yell at you and tell you what to do. You don't have to think about it, just show up and go and do it. And I think, you know, if more people experienced that and pushed themselves and just got in and gave it two to three weeks, I think it's, it's one of those things that just becomes addictive, you know?
I think that's really what it is. Well, and that's the, what you said, what I think is true for a lot of people and you're right. It's not necessarily that because intellectually, we know that like discipline and, you know, intellectually, we know we shouldn't be shoving ice cream in our webinars, right. So it's the emotional side of it. And the emotional side of being in pain, the soreness, or, or the pain of having to wake up early, what we don't understand is what's on the other side of that. And we didn't stick with it long enough to understand that on the other side of that discomfort, on the other side of that pain, on the other side of hard.
Is all the benefit is
The results that you've been wanting. Then you've been complaining that you don't have it correct. And we don't always have the emotional you know, we don't have it in us to kind of push through that.
Yeah. And I think that's true. I mean, that's a hundred per cent it's and, sometimes you just have to call people on it and just go look, you don't really want to, you keep saying, here's what I want to do, but you don't want to, you like the idea of it, you like it, but you don't want, and if the second you want you'll go get.
Right. Exactly. And, as a coach, and as a trainer, you have to have those honest conversations with people you just have to, and that's the beauty of coaching too because sometimes you get the opportunity to drag them along, even though they don't want to. And they, you know you kind of get the joy of saying, like, I know I'm going to make you, I'm going to make you have this discipline right now. I'm going to make you stick with this because I know what's on the other side of it. And, it's a really fun process. Cause then once they experience, they start seeing
Speaker 1 (32:13):
They start seeing those results. And then next thing you know, you know, they're dragging.
Exactly. Yeah. Let's go.
Let's do this man.
So that's awesome. I'm going to go way back to something you said earlier because I know a lot of people who are listening have a similar story to yours in that my family isn't healthy, you know they live in a household where other people's habits aren't healthy. How is it that you became, I guess the person who is divergent from that, like help people understand how you created that you weren't the
No, and it, I think, it's, this is probably going back pretty far, but I think for me, there was the, there was the love of sports, which kept me active. So for me, getting on a team and building that comradery with other people was what dragged me in, which is why CrossFit was so fun. You know, it was that four 30 and it was, I was all about community. And you know, the kind that you could talk smack to, and that would love on you at the same time. And, you know, it was, you know, it was, it was like, it was literally family. And it was one that I didn't have. And so, but for me, it was, it was watching that and seeing people unhealthy and big and fat, to be honest, I mean, that's, I know that's horrible to say, but that was my family. I can say it
There are brutal facts.
Facts. I mean, it was, you see somebody that's obese and unhealthy and you go, I just, I don't want to be like that. And, the day that I had children, you know, I wanted to raise my children too, to not necessarily think that's such a bad thing. Cause there's, there are times that people can't control these things, but what I experienced was controllable, and that was what I had an issue with. You know, I, I also know people that have medical conditions that there's nothing they can do about it. What I experienced was people that could do something about it. People that would eat really bad and smoke and do all these other things and all the meanwhile being told by a medical professional, stop smoking and lose some weight and you'll get off medication, but a million talks and a million doctors. And, you know, when you don't make the change and this is what happens, it creates spitefulness, you know, from the people around you. I mean, you keep banging your head into the wall and they complain about it. Well, eventually you just go, all right, dummy, keep banging your head into the wall.
It's hard to watch someone you really love and care about.
It is you know, it definitely isn't. And once again, I know this sounds really harsh, but, but it's, there's a frustration that goes along with it as well for the people, you know, around you. And, I just did not want that. That was not going to be me. And like I said my, you know, my father figures growing up you know, passed away early in life and never got to experience my children. You know, and that could have been helped once again. And so for me, it's just, you know, being healthy and fit and, and trying to take care of my body and, and making sure I'm getting regular blood work done and making sure that I'm up on all that stuff. It's just, it's now second nature. And it's something I do, I am concerned about. And, you know, I do want to be here and I do want to walk my little girl down the aisle.
You bring up something that I think about a lot, like having served in the military and especially during wartime, when nothing was promised to you, you might get called overseas and you might not come home. I think it instilled in a lot of us who’ve lived through that, but even though your experience with your family is your mortality. You know, the fact that you've witnessed people dying young and having all these health conditions, I think brings something inside you to say like a lonely life. That I'm probably the only life that I'm promised right now is this breath I'm breathing right now. And I see you live in a lie. That's me, and now this makes sense because I didn't know all that history before, but it makes sense why you live the life you live, I'm willing to love, and I'm willing to provide joy. And I'm going to take care of my people because I've seen this go south before. Am I reading too much into that?
I mean, I definitely think so. I really do that there are so many times where I don't have a very good filter at all. I have zero filters you know.
Which is one of your most endearing qualities for me, personally.
So one of the worst qualities as well, but I just, you know, we just, we don't get to pick when that time is, you know, we don't. And you know, I mean, hell at the end of the day, when I meet God, you know, my God is literally gonna go, Hey, look, man, you did it exactly how I wanted you to, but that's what you did, you know? And that's every opportunity I gave you every opportunity, man, you didn't say no very often you rocked it. You tried to live it hard. And, what I want my wife and my children to say about me is pretty close to that. You know, he loved hard. He'd definitely gone on our, but you know, sometimes he was a Butt-Head, but he loved us while he was being a Butthead.
And, he tried to teach us. He did the best that he could, and he had fun doing it. You know, my quote, actually on my Facebook pages my father didn't teach me how to live. He lived and let me watch him do it. And that is like that to me is just putting that on my tombstone. That, right there is what I want to be said. The day that I get put in the ground is I want that to be said about me. And if you try to live your life off of something like that, and you pick what that is, man, I don't think you can go wrong and be damned, of who thinks you should be doing something else or who judges you. I don't know.
Yeah. That reminds me of something you said earlier, and this is a great thing to dive into because again, one of the things that I admire about you is your, how you approach being a father. Sure. So I'm going to go back to one thing you said, you said earlier and tie that into what we just said was you know, people being born with a silver spoon in their mouth or being handed the world. And I personally have a perspective that resonated with me because I have a perspective that is like, yes, I'm a successful person and I have three kids and I've looked all of them in the eye and said, you're, I'm not giving you any. Nope. I, you know, you're going to have to, if you want to take over the family business someday or anything like that, you're going to have to earn your way into the business like everybody else.
And there's a chance that I don't give you anything. And that's just the way it goes. So you said something along those lines, but what your favourite quote is, is where I see so many people, I'm not being judgmental. It's just a different perspective than I have, but their whole lives revolve around their kids, meaning putting their health on the line, on the back burner. They put their social life on the back burner. They take, they any, anything that might be good for them as a parent for sure. Goes to the wayside and their whole life becomes around the kids. And I think what you said is just, just, I didn't know that quote, but I love it.
One, I feel like
The best thing you can do for your kids is to live your best life and show them how it's dumped here. We all model and then they're going to be total, they're gonna be completely fine.
Well, you know, the funny thing is we, so try to, we try to shield our kids from the bat of this world. I think you don't need to. I want my kids to see my failures. I absolutely do. Because the second day
You learned more.
You know, that's any, any time that I've ever made a jump in, in my career has been right after a major failure or the need, oh, hell, we're having another kid, man. We gotta make more money. Let's go get it. Do you know? And you've got to you that, that drive kicks in. But if my, if, if my children can see me fail and then see me stand back up and, and better myself from that point, then when they get knocked down, which they're going to, right. They're going to, I hope so. I hope I hope they do. Is that they're going to go, Hey, I've seen this done before. This is going to happen. I can get back up and I can swing harder next time. And that's, I want them to see those failures. And I think so often as parents, we want to shield our kids so much, you know, there's a very fine line also, I think, with giving your kids.
I didn't have crap growing up. Now I have the ability to do it half the time. I think man, you are a little spoiled. Do you know? And, and so that's a hard line to, to, to do as well because at the second is coming out of my mouth. I'm also, I also give my kids a lot and, and that's a constant battle, I think for us and for every parent, I mean, it is right. I mean, are we screwing them up? We won't know for another, I won't know, for another 10, 15 years, what's the balance, right? I think it's all balanced, but yeah, I think having your kids watch you and your successes and your failures is so important, so important.
Yeah, I totally agree that sidetrack is on this, but the opposite of that is having been a kid, maybe like you and I had similar backgrounds, maybe it's like where my parent’s life wasn’t anything about me and I'm sitting there like, you know, can I get a little help here? Yeah. I live here, you know, and you kind of, you kind of had me and you don't really get that until you're an adult waiter. And you realize the independence that you have that you, that you grew and whether it's intentional or unintentional on, our parents' part, still grateful for them.
I know. And the way I think a lot of it is, you know, a lot of those parents would probably grind, you know, and, and probably trying to do all they could just to keep their head out of the water and try to shield you from some of those things that you didn't realize what they were doing. I mean, I, I think some, sometimes I'm going to go back to what I was just talking about just a second ago, but I think, I think sometimes parents and, and, you know, you can great, but I think some parents just give their kids way too much and you're setting your kids up for unreal expectations and that's not real life. It's not real life. Do you know what I mean? You know, when, when you just keep your kids from all the bad things, now I'm not saying, go, go put your kid in a prison yard and just let them see people shank each other.
But, you know, let them let out the worst ideas. It's really not. He has some gangsters as he shows that they really do. I mean, you know, but it's, but it's to let your kids see some of the bad and let them see some of that. And you know, let them know that here, this is the real world. And you're going to have to, you're going to have to learn how to manoeuvre this real world. That's what you're going to have to learn. And it's my job to teach you sometimes when you fall down, my hand is out automatically picking you up right away. And sometimes I'm gonna let you sit there for a minute, you know, and learn how to get yourself up. So that's the balance.
Yeah. I think the parent, well, first of all, parenting has no judgment on parenting because I'm fully aware how freaking hard it is to be a parent. But it's just with, for me, life, in general, is the difference. There is the consciousness, the awareness that I'm doing this, like, I'm not reacting, I'm not reaching my hand out because it's a reaction, I'm reaching my hand out because I took a pause. I thought, is this the right time to reach my hand? Or I took the pause and I realized no. And the difference is, was it a reaction or was it a response? Correct. And so much about being a parent is having the wherewithal to stop, pause, think, respond rather than react. Because I mean, I snap at my kids, you know, and it's like, dang it. I just acted. I didn't respond. Do you know? And it's frustrating as a parent, we're all guilty of
The man. I love it. Sometimes whenever we'll have friends over or something, they'll snap at their kids. And I'm like, and I'll look at Laura and go see, it's not just me. Hey, he did it too. I just want to tell him right there, but I mean, yeah, that's what it is. And you know, it's so funny because we're sitting here talking about this, knowing other people are gonna listen. And I'm like, what the hell am I to give advice on parenting? I'm still trying to fill it out.
Yeah. By the way, I have no clue what I'm doing as a parent. So what do I know at least
If you got anything out of that, you know that there are two people sitting across from you from this screen and going, oh, we don't know what we're doing either. So it works. I'm
Sure it's a common experience. Absolutely. Everybody's
Shaking their head right now. Yeah, I don't either.
As we bring this to a close, I always kind of finish with the same question. Is there anything that you wished I would ask you that I didn't ask you today?
My favourite question, I always, asked that exact same question. That's funny that you said that. I don't know, man, dude, I don't know. We kinda got into everything. I mean I think maybe a part two might be coming up eventually because this was, this was fun. And I can't believe the time that has already gone by here, we're
About 45 minutes. It felt like
It was five. But no, I mean,I think we kinda had a good, you know, had a good conversation and
Well overdue way overdue. We've been talking about getting together for a long time. And so well, I'm so grateful. I learned a ton just by sitting here talking to you today and I know that someone out there, many people out there also did. So just thank you so much. Thanks for what you give. Thanks for how you show up in the world. And I appreciate you for being on the show mode.
Huge honour. To be asked by you, man. I got the text message and I was a little school girl, all giddy and just giggling going, oh my God. He asked me, he wants me to be on his show
And not to make it even worse. But you were, I sent three messages on the safe. You were in the top three.
Yeah. So talking about so no, but big, huge honour to be here, man. And talk with you. I'll always love, I always love sitting down and talking to you, man. And, anytime I'm an open book. So like
We said, next time we'll be cracking a beer I'm fixing to
Awesome. All right, man. Well, that's it. Thanks for joining the show today, guys. And we'll talk to you soon.
All right. Have a good one. Thank you.
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