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#7 - My Mom Talks Muscle w/ Bev Wooley

Athan (00:00):

Well, the biggest thing that I say to people all the time is like, Courage isn't the lack of fear. Courage is being afraid and doing what's right anyway. So what a courageous move on your part. I haven't regretted it at all. Welcome to Doing The Work. If you're okay with living a boring life with below average results, this is not your podcast. Go ahead and tune out now. But if you want to live an amazing life full of purpose, love, joy, abundance, and elite health and fitness, you've come to the right place. This podcast is for people who are ready to stop making excuses and start doing the work that creates a life that they love. I'm your host, Athan Schindler in Airborne Ranger turned social worker, turned strength coach turned entrepreneur. I've spent my entire life learning how to be uncommon among the uncommon, I found my purpose in empowering people to reach their full potential. And this podcast takes a deep dive in how to prioritize what matters. Do the work, own your life, maintain compassion and kindness and risk failure while enjoying every moment along the way.

Athan (01:10):

I talk to people who inspire me and share their gifts with you. This is my way of helping you find what sets you on fire and keeps the fire burning. The doing the work podcast is brought to you by the Bastrop fitness project backdrops hub for health and wellness. Check them out at All right. Well, I am here with my mom, Bev Wooley. Mom, you hear I wanted you on this show. Because obviously, you've been such an inspiration to me, as a person who you've been through quite a few things in your life. And you've never made any excuses. And you haven't let that hold you back. Well, I shouldn't say we all make excuses. But you've still accomplished your goals. You've done some pretty big things. It's been a small town Kansas farm girl who turned who was a single mom and and you just didn't let anything hold you back. So thank you for being who you are in my life. And thanks for being on the show.

Bev (02:17):

Oh, you're welcome. I'm glad to be here. I always look at you for inspiration. So, I think I've done a good job of raising you as fast as I could. That's the Army's bad hair. Yeah. That was good.

Athan (02:31):

Well, you got me that far. God kept me alive and out of jail for

Bev (02:40):

18 Years.

Athan (02:41):

For 18 years. Yeah. So. So what kind? What have you been up to lately? What have you been doing?

Bev (02:47):

You know, the setting here in Kansas? It's fine. I happened to be traveling at this time of the year. But I have things to do here. So I'm stuck. Okay, yeah. Where are you going to travel? I was going to bed vast, like I always do, or, south and west, for the winter where it's warmer.

Athan (03:09):

But for the audience, I called my mom that gypsy for a year anyway, so she likes to pack up her check to pack up her RV. And she's traveled all over the place. And another reason why I'm really proud of you after dad died, you're on your own, and you didn't like us, you've always been very independent. But, you just picked up and started traveling and doing all kinds of stuff that I think a lot of people would have been afraid to do.

Bev (03:37):

Whether it was scary, and that I was so unhappy. Just reckon and pay in the mortgage and car payments and stuff. And it was a book that you gave me right off. I don't remember the name of it. It was a book you gave me. That made me reevaluate what I was doing. And traveling was one of those things that I felt that if I didn't do it, I was going to be unhappy. And it took some research. I thought it was weird that a single older woman wanted to travel. But when I did some research, there's a lot of women out there traveling. So that inspired me to get my pickup and my fifth wheel and sell the house and take off for a couple years and I got to see places that I had been wanting to see. And now that's really in my blood and I'm wanting to go back to traveling again. I came to Kansas to help take care of my mom and dad.

Athan (04:34):

Yeah. Well, I love that. The biggest thing that I say to people all the time is that Courage isn't the lack of fear. Courage is being afraid and doing what's right anyway. So it would be a courageous move on your part.

Bev (04:51):

I haven't regretted it at all.

Athan (04:55):

Yeah, where have you been? I think I know some of the places but like what's kind of a quick rundown of all the places you've traveled to

Bev (05:02):

Welfare state without an answer. So I went through Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Utah, Nevada, a little bit of California, Arizona, New Mexico and came right around back to Texas. And I did that a couple of times.

Athan (05:25):

Yeah. And you stayed in a lot of those places for prolonged periods of time. It was like you were just driving through

Bev (05:31):

crap that took me two years. Yeah, man for two years, I decided to take a job in Arizona, and I was in Kingman, Arizona for two years working as a nurse practitioner, and then started traveling again. That's right. I forgot about when I came back to Kansas to help take care of mom and dad.

Athan (05:51):

Yeah. And what do they call it? The types of people who are in RVs that are kind of off the grid.

Bev (06:00):

Some may call them boondockers. Ooh, man. VAN dwellers, for people that live in vans and, and I was in a movie at Nomad land.

Athan (06:13):

I still haven't seen the movie yet. I keep meaning to but it's kind of about people who are boondockers. Right.

Bev (06:20):

Van dwellers. It was basically Van dweller so my friend, Charlene swanky. That's kind of the main character in that movie. And because I knew her, she invited us to be extras for her memorial service, which was in the movie, but not wife, Anna, who puts that cut out there. But you can see me back there. If you know that I'm out. I'm a blurry figure on the other side of CampFire. So I've seen me but everybody else has got planets and everything. It's pretty cool.

Athan (06:59):

That is a cool experience. I mean, yeah, I don't think I've ever been in a movie that I can take.

Bev (07:05):

You know, I got paid for doing that.

Athan (07:07):

That's awesome. Yeah, but being in a movie is super cool. And it's just that they've probably made a movie about it. Because what a cool lifestyle. You know, I mean, such an interest, I bet you meet so many interesting people.

Bev (07:21):

And for sure, I'd met some crazy queer people. People that I've remained friends with now. The movie is actually about a woman whose husband died, and all the fat and she lost her job, and pretty much made her homeless. And she decided to get in a van. She's sort of a stepping stone. And it shows her trying to work like in the beet, sugar beet industry and for Amazon, and when the land which is in South Dakota. And so it kind of showed her life. And then she met up with other van dwellers like swanky and a couple of other people that are then featured in the movie. And were at weddings in their crumbles.

Athan (08:12):

Did you relate to any of that? I mean, hearing parts of what guys again, I haven't seen the movie, but hear you describe it a little bit. I feel like maybe there's some similarities between you and the main character, but do you?

Bev (08:26):

A little bit because she is this person and all of these people that I have met and that are in this movie, and we're kind of forced into this lifestyle. For example, she makes very little on her social security, and she wouldn't be able to afford to rent an apartment and, and all of that stuff. So a lot of people that I've met were forced into that situation. I was not. I've been very fortunate that I ended up buying this house. So I wasn't forced into that situation.

Athan (09:04):

Yeah, well, I guess I thought about the husband dying thing and stuff like that.

Bev (09:09):

And of widows and widowers, there's a lot of males out there too, that lost their spouses. And, so I, in fact, I would say 75 to 80%. Or even more, and single persons that are out there traveling, there are a lot of families that have children and they're out homeschooling their children while their parents work online. You don't have online type jobs doing what I think.

Athan (09:40):

That's so cool. I mean, obviously because of the industry I work in and stuff like that. It wouldn't be possible. I mean, it's kind of like an in person. Industry, but I still I'm kind of a little jealous of people who have a type of work where they could take their kids, their family and go wherever they want to be and still live the lifestyle that they're accustomed to, wow.

Bev (10:04):

Well, and the kids just think of what the kids get to see. I mean, these people post what they're doing, like they're down in Texas or Florida, at one of the Space Centers, and the kids get to go on tours and all of these historical places. And it's very interesting to see where they take their kids and, and how they integrate that into homeschooling.

Athan (10:31):

I mean, it's just an education. Beyond that, I love the type of education that you can't receive in a classroom that you can't read in a book, experiential stuff that you just have to do to learn it. And that's it. I kind of chalk it up to that.

Bev (10:52):

Oh, yeah. But pick a Mac and Marie, what does Anne Marie do? Can she do that wherever you live?

Athan (10:59):

Yeah, consultants.

Bev (11:02):

Most of them are consultants of some sort.

Athan (11:04):

And now with the way that COVID happened in the pandemic, more people realize that okay, this is the time to go and do it, which I, again it's pretty well.

Bev (11:16):

I think people have really discovered what this COVID and have really, found a fifth in the world, and they went a different direction. And kind of interesting to see how that affected me. Change and a lot of people.

Athan (11:34):

Yeah, and I said from the beginning, yet, well, because I've been through a lot of hard times, and just from just knowing I, every horrific event that I've been through, produced something beautiful. And something like a pandemic, I just knew that, of course, there was going to be some horrific things that came out. But I also knew that it was going to foster creativity and innovation and something positive. And I think we're seeing that quite a bit.

Bev (12:07):


Athan (12:11):

Well, I guess so. So, speaking of speaking of hard times, again, like one of the things that I know, obviously, about you, because you're my mom is that you've been through a bunch of hard stuff, and that you've perseverance, persistence, fortitude, these are all words to me, that are at will something I really just aspire to. And that I hope that I can help coach other people to just have a sense of resilience. And I think I learned that from you, I think, who I am and how that was built into me. You know, for better or worse, and why you know why I am the way I am is because, we went through smarter times and so of you and we just kept going. What would you say is the one of the hardest, the hardest things that you've been through? Like what were some events you look back on now? And that was like,

Bev (13:05):

raising an honorary teenager.

Athan (13:08):

I tell people all the time, you're saying, we may get into it on this podcast or whatnot. But, yeah, I mean, it can't couldn't have been easy. raising a kid, like I was wild, adventurous, independent. Not very little regard for authority. You know, and you had to kind of deal with the fallout of a lot of that. So I'm sure it was hard.

Bev (13:39):

Yeah, every year, at the beginning of the school year was like, dear God make this the year that everything clicks, and it's okay. And I think I did that for 12 years. The year would come in kindergarten, starting in kindergarten.

Athan (13:57):

Yeah. Uh, just I think about education a lot like the education system and the way that classrooms are having been a kid who struggled so much every, like you said, every single year with every single teacher, and because we moved a lot, it was also, It wasn't just the system I was in, it wasn't like one classroom or whatnot.

Bev (14:22):

I think it was a system

Athan (14:25):

Well as a whole, right, there's kind of like a paradigm of education and how they do it in California is only very slightly different than how they do it in Baltimore. You know it's a structure.

Bev (14:41):

Yeah. But do you remember when I went to school with you one day, I think you were in fourth grade?

Athan (14:46):

Yeah. You sat in the corner and went to every class. I thought it was sixth grade.

Bev (14:51):

Fired up. Remember? That was an eye opener for me. Because it was good. Gone. No wonder You are fooling around and causing trouble. Because it was, every class was boring. And there were so many kids in the class. And the teacher was up there, how that comedian goes? Now class turn to page three, you're not

Athan (15:21):

there yet.

Bev (15:23):

And then your math teacher, that Enderlin bath teacher, oh my God. And I think because I'm not good at math, that one made an impact on me, because she made Seren roar. I mean, she turned around in a chair, and I'm gonna do this, and read on the whiteboard like this. And then while she is doing this, you guys will flow in paper planes and goof around. And she turned out class, that myth behind being, and then she'd go back to light and stuff. It was terrible. I think that was when I made the decision to put you in private school. I think you did better in that setting, because the classes were smaller, you got a little more attention. Which I'm not saying you needed attention. But now you did. Because if you were not being challenged in that moment, then you were challenging other people, the teacher, and it was like that every day through your schools, I think you did best in that private school. To be honest with you.

Athan (16:39):

Yeah, I think something that I had to overcome was, especially as an adult, and I probably just wasn't aware enough as a kid once I got it in my head that I was one of the bad kids. Like, once I had been made to feel like I was labeled. And not only was it not only the Systech, this, the teachers in the school treat me like one of the bad kids. But I accepted that label for myself, and I started acting accordingly. And that's kind of hard to break out of, right.

Bev (17:15):

But the thing is, you weren't bad. Are you either bad as in bad? No, of course, I am wary. And you disrupted the class, because you'd like to be a comedian. And, whatever. Sam, you are, might consider that you were bad. But I think you were challenging the teachers, the teachers were not forced to find a different way to challenge you and to teach you. And most of them didn't want to even rise to that challenge. You know, you were just they wanted you to fall in line, like all the other kids and just do what they say and go on to the next grade. That's what they write. And you that's not you.

Athan (18:03):

And it's never happened. I've never been that person. Yeah, honestly, I just don't. And, that's what that's my desire, I'm actually on a, I just got asked to be in this thing called the Student Health Advisory Committee for the school district here. And they gave me this questionnaire about that, and there's like, 20 questions on there. And a couple of the questions are, like, for my kid, what is it? What do I hope for her? And like, what do I, the questions are, I'm paraphrasing, but around, like, what do I want for her education and what I want for her life and all these other things? And also, then it expands the questions. Okay, what do you want to be like, all the kids in the school? And what do you want for the community? And what do you want for the parents, and because I was that kid that you just described, I want all these kids that to be to realize at a younger age, their talents there that their power, they're there, and if they're not like everyone else, they shouldn't be made to feel like they're not good enough or that they're an outsider, that should be, I think, celebrated and enhanced and drawn out of them so that by the time they become an adult, whatever we consider adults these days, they're far more functioning and they have more tools in their, in their tool belt, to help them to succeed.

Bev (19:33):

Right. I think kids learn differently. Some kids do well in a classroom setting. I think other kids do well, in more of an interactive way, was that the word I want to say in the interactive type of a situation? Sure, and I think they need to identify that early on, because like you will not be in a classroom.

Athan (19:58):

No, I could not sit down, I could not shut up. I couldn't.

Bev (20:03):

Yeah. And we've had you tested for attention deficit. Do remember that.

Athan (20:09):

And that the guy gets tested for a lot of stuff?

Bev (20:13):

Yeah, the two or three people that tested you said he doesn't have an attention deficit, he's bored. He said you were very smart. And you were bored in the classroom, and you were occupied and you found a way to occupy yourself, which did not go in the classroom with the teacher.

Athan (20:37):

I think there's a lot of kids who have a certain combination of characteristics like that, they, they're taught to so they might be like, a tactile learner, who's intelligent, and then have a high degree of disagree ability. Right. And that little combination needs to be engaged in a different way. You know, and that's really my hope. That's what I'm trying to, to get the school district here to kind of see is like, how do we identify those kids? Like, as early as possible, and then rather than making them a troublemaker or something, or or 90, at least giving them what they need? So they somehow kind of like to divert themselves? You know, giving them a path for success? And how to channel that.

Bev (21:30):

Don't you wonder how different your life would be? If the education system figured you out? You know

Athan (21:43):

I mean I do. And then I don't, because I don't regret anything, all this stuff that I've gone through, all the different all of those challenges, obviously, I'm having this conversation with you right now. I've had many conversations with young people. I mean, the reason why I've worked with young people in the past, whether it was in the juvenile justice system, or with it, whether it was in, as a social worker and stuff. I can speak their language, I understand I've been on that path. And so I can't, I don't have any regrets. I do wonder, though, because knowing what I know, now, having being, an educated person and going through college and master's degree in business person, if I had expedited that, like, if I had realized my talents and my abilities at a younger age, I probably I would not have gone to the army. I went to tell people, I'm not a patriot. I wasn't like, I'm not that I'm not a patriot, I did go to the army as a patriotic act. It was literally, I had no other options. And that's where I ended up. And thank God, I ended up in the units I ended up in and the experience I had with the leaders that I had, because that was when I learned how to channel everything.

Bev (23:00):

So what do you think the army did to find your superpower? And grab on to that, and develop you into what you are today? I think

Athan (23:13):

It was a combination of a couple things. One, there were people who saw that potential, right, for whatever reason, whatever I don't know, they saw the potential, and they just like, would not allow me to be substandard to what they thought I was capable of, I mean, just no exceptions. I know you can do this, and you are going to rise to that occasion, or I'm going to crush your balls until you do it. And, I mean, they loved me that much to hold me to that. You know, and that's powerful. You know, because the opposite was that when I was a kid, as a younger person, they made me, they almost made it the opposite, like your potential is down here. So just sit over there in the corner and like, add color until, I just like, don't cause me any troubles. They didn't like, try to bring me to my best, you know, so I said that teachers did that. Well, yeah, that's as a kid. And that's why the army was different. The other thing about the army was the flexibility and the allowance to do things my way. I think that they gave me enough rope. They're like, I know, you have potential, maybe I don't see you. I mean, here's the end state. So in the army, the commander, whoever says, here's the end state, however you get from here to there, is at least as important as achieving this end state. And so I had the opportunity to kind of create and design a path to that success, in my own way to be able to lead other people to do the same thing. I think that the flexibility and the high standards is really what changed my life.

Bev (25:07):

We went to your boot camp, graduation, and you came into our hotel room and banged our bed. I went home and other bad things happened from this point on the army got a son to make a bed. And yeah.

Athan (25:25):

I don't really remember that. But I remember like I was probably showing off to be honest now like looking back now. I wanted you guys to know, I think it was really. I had always felt like a failure to you guys. I had always felt like a disappointment to you and dad. I think that having now some success in the military and stuff, I think I was probably showing off. To be honest, I wanted you to know that I had figured some things out and that I remember Dad, I don't think he was being trained to be mean, at all. But when I said I was signing up for the army, he kind of laughed. And he kind of said something like, along the lines of like, I'll see you soon. I'll see you in a couple weeks.

Bev (26:13):

Thoughts because we thought that someone was getting in your face? It's not going to end well. Well, you bet we got in your face that didn't go well. So I think we fail you potentially puffy not that tough buy stuff. And that let the RV do what they needed to do. And you'd end up, boxing someone or in a fight and they'd kick you out. That's what we were afraid of. And the phone call with Mark, do you remember that? When you thought I remember the hair thing that you said if you just shut up? And if I just shut up and do what they say and be good and bad.

Athan (27:08):

been saying this for 17 years? Yeah, well, how it is like someone, a parent or a spouse or whatever can say something 100 times and, and it just doesn't sink in. But then like one other person says it the same exact way. Nothing differently just somehow clicks.

Bev (27:31):

When I think that perhaps that clicked well with you. Because they know not your mom or your dad or your teacher. They were more of a Marvel, maybe or something. You lived with that more than someone being authoritarian in the military. I think they're authoritarian but different from mom and dad and your teachers at school. Yeah.

Athan (28:04):

I agree. I don't know. I remember being also, I thought I was a badass going into the military. But I also remember being very scared. I remember you go to 30th AG, which is like a reception place on Fort Benning, where like, people who are going to be infantry men, and I'll go back remember laying on the bunk, I can open bay bunk, one of the first nights I hadn't even been gone into basic training yet. And cry, laying there crying because I was scared and I'm sure yeah, I remember the drill. The first day when you come off of the you get traveled around in horse trailers. And when you come off, and you're going to like, wherever your basic training is going to be and that's it, it's the classic what you've seen the movies or whatever, we're all the drill sergeants like swarm you and they're screaming in your face. I still very clearly remember being fucking terrified, you know? I think that was part of it too. I kind of was in that moment, I was humble. My ego shrunk down from where it was and I think that made a difference too. Like I kind of knew what you and dad were going to do. I kind of knew what teachers were going to do but I didn't know what these guys were going to do to me. Yeah, So yeah, I tell people you're saying all the time for how you buy for how you got me to be an adult from somehow Well, do you think that was the hardest thing that you've ever got, was raising a kid cup, sublet by yourself? You know, dad around but Well.

Bev (29:50):

Yeah, because it was year after year. It wasn't just something that happened and was done. It was something we thought about Mark and I have had more than a few arguments about child rearing and what to do. And we both had very different ideas. So it was something that was ongoing, and I wouldn't trade it for anything because you have the person you are now is a perfect person. And to me, Sarah, all of that led to where you are now, saying I wouldn't go back and change it. But I do kind of wish it was different. Yeah, for everybody that is in trouble. I think you were grounded most of your life. But you didn't care that you were grounded that did not affect you at all that we could tell. We took phones and TVs away, and you didn't care. So we know that we never found that. We never found your soft spot.

Athan (30:56):

Yeah, I think that was maybe why I was sick. Or maybe I was born this way or whatever. But I think another reason why I was successful in the RV is because, I'd been through I mean, there was nothing they could do to me that I pretty much had already gone through before. I tell people all the time, my eyes, because I was in so much trouble all the time I lived in an empty room with not a lot of toys. No, you know, no TV, nothing. I had a set of encyclopedias to entertain me, if I got bored. And most of the time, that's where I was at, because I was in trouble all the time.

Bev (31:32):

We all knew you were very smart. The ram you tested, throughout school. And the teachers would all say Athan is very smart. He just doesn't do his homework. And he's disruptive in class. So that was making your grade not as hurting your grades. And then when you tested for the military, and all of the branches were calling US Coast Guard, Marines, Air Force, Army, navy, they're all calling. And the one of them finally says, well, he tested so well on the test. Skiold says, well, on the test, of course, everybody is going to be calling because we want him in our branch of the military. Yeah, you are very smart. We just never figured out how to direct that. But the army did.

Athan (32:25):

You want to know a funny story about that test, you take that with it called as AP tests, which is like your aptitude test for the military. I took it as a junior in high school. I obviously again, with no intentions of going into the military, but you got i got like a half debt. You know, they gave you a half day out of school. You didn't have to go to class that morning. But I got so high before I went to the test. I was like out of my mind, like not, I didn't just because I didn't care about how I did on it. And then it turned out that like you said, I tested, like almost a perfect score on it. Yeah. Which sounds crazy. I don't know how that happened. But yeah.

Bev (33:10):

I know you were, I didn't know you were high.

Athan (33:13):

Well, it's not something I go telling a lot of people I guess but, but that's the truth. So I don't think a lot about it though, like if, when we look back on like, what if I knew then what I know now. And especially around health and wellness, like if I had been taking better care of myself and of course I played sports and stuff but I didn't really apply myself at that time. But like you've been also now lately like really working on your health and you've been allowing me to be a part of that with you. So I kind of have some insight to it. But what do you do now? They treat you with your years of wisdom and everything else kind of wished Oh, maybe I would. I wish I knew that back then.

Bev (34:06):

I wish I was much more physically active. I wish I could find something that inspired me like running or something a little on the competitive edge, but I'm not really competitive, but bicycling. I wish I had found something a lot earlier because now it's a big struggle to get into the habit of doing it because I'd had 55 years of not doing it. And now I need to do it. In high school I was on track and I did okay for a four foot 11 person.

Athan (34:45):

You know? Yeah, you did. The funny thing about that is you did track but you didn't just do track you did hurdles, did you?

Bev (34:53):

I did hurdles and it was funny because I watch people do this. And they just glide over the hurdles. I read about random jobs. And it was funny to watch that and remember that I did because I was short and couldn't even lever them enough for me to glide over them.

Athan (35:18):

What coach thought it was a good idea what was the what did the rest of the team look like? To think that was a good idea to put you as the hurdles first?

Bev (35:27):

Keep in mind I was in a warm small school, and almost everybody had to be in the sport. So you had enough to form a tea.

Athan (35:39):

Would you graduate with like nine kids or 11? Kids?

Bev (35:42):

There were 11 of my senior graduating class. Yeah, I met the boys. They had to play football and basketball. Otherwise they didn't have enough for a team. Yeah. And we played as six men.

Athan (35:57):

Eight men football. A smaller school plays eight man football. Yeah. So we played eight man said there and we

Bev (36:03):

barely had enough people for a team. Yeah. That's crazy. There weren't any benchwarmers.

Athan (36:12):

I love going back to so. So my family for the audience. My family's from Dorrans, Kansas. And Dorrance is a tiny farming community. I think now there's 175 people in that town. Yep. That's it. 175 people in that town. And I don't know, there's something about others, like a sense of pride for me about that, knowing that, like, that's where you're from, and that's where my people are from. I don't know why I feel that way. But I just, it's so tiny. And life is just very different. They're no different. And of course, you left there at a very young age. And you could, yeah. What was that about? Why did you leave?

Bev (37:02):

Because I had known. I knew that there was, we didn't travel, when we went on vacation. We didn't go to places and I wanted to go see places and experience more than what this tiny community had to offer. I went as far as Oklahoma. And, initially and then ended up in Nevada. And, that's Oklahoma's where I met Mark, and then Bart moved to Nevada. I eventually followed him there. And Well, I wanted to get out of here.

Athan (37:42):

And so Okay, so the first place you went was Oklahoma. Like, before I was born.

Bev (37:47):

No more. I'm about an hour away from here to vote tech and blue light. And that was my first year, about away from home. Then I moved to Hayes. And he says, Wherever you are born, and I think you were on your second birthday, that we will move into Oklahoma. I was working for that Respiratory Therapy company. And they provided respiratory staff in rural hospitals. And so I was in Oklahoma with ma'am. I went to Albuquerque, New Mexico, with them.

Athan (38:30):

And so I didn't realize you met your dad in Oklahoma. Yeah. Family.

Bev (38:35):

And the hospital. Interesting. Yeah. I didn't like him when I first met him. No, why not? Man, cuz he was. He had a really weird sense of humor. I wasn't used to that. And you're not Yeah, and I'm talking about right. I know. Well, he just had a weird sense of humor and was really sarcastic and I never knew what he was joking about. And when he was serious, and so I had kind of a hard time with that. And then of course, that changed after I got to know him. So yeah.

Athan (39:09):

Was it hard? Yeah, he was the PA that you worked for or worked with?

Bev (39:15):

Yeah, that was his first place to work after he got out of PA school. Okay.

Athan (39:21):

Was it weird like trying to date being like a single single mom or like, Was that was that fine for you?

Bev (39:28):

It was hard. I don't know why. Though, I guess there are some men that didn't want a family. You know, that wasn't there, so to speak. And then of course, finding a babysitter, and it was expensive. You know, for a single mom, I had to watch my penny. So finding a babysitter or going out stuff I wasn't a party girl, as far as going out to bars and, and stuff like that. So yeah, it was kind of odd. Now I was just challenging myself. Yeah.

Athan (40:17):

I can only imagine. But also, like I said, that's one of the things that I'm most proud of you for? Because, you had me when you got pregnant at 18, had me at 19 or something like that.

Bev (40:28):

Not that yeah, just before. Yeah, August to December, when I turned 20.

Athan (40:33):

You would have had every excuse, you would have had at least a good excuse to find some waitressing job or something like what you did. I know you waited tables and stuff to make ends meet. And you could have just stayed that way. And I think we were on welfare for a little while. Yeah, you could have just kind of rolled that out. And but you get it. Like did during that time, like you said, you want to become a respiratory therapist? I remember you were a nurse's aide. Right? And then you became an RN. And then you became a nurse practitioner, down the road. Right? And, not easy when, you're like you were working while you're going to school and all that stuff.

Bev (41:23):

Now that I probably would not have done the nurses that went to school with that mark, because Mark was able to financially support us. And yeah, I still worked. But he was able to provide groceries and all of that stuff while I went to school. Otherwise, I probably would not have been able to do that.

Athan (41:48):

Why did you choose medicine? Like why did you choose nursing? Do you think? I mean, because you started from a young age. I mean, that's what you gravitate towards.

Bev (41:57):

Now, I started out as a nurse's aide. I just like that population of it. In a nursing home, I've always been drawn to the geriatric field. I just kind of liked it. I don't know exactly why. It's just what I started doing. I was comfortable with it. And every step that I took, I wanted to get better, and go to the next step. So it took a while until I graduated as an RN. And when I was 51, when I graduated as a nurse practitioner, I was a late bloomer, and all of those.

Athan (42:41):

Right, but again, you could have easily just said I'm too old for this, and just like I've done it, but you didn't let that happen. Do you think I asked a lot of people this? I'm curious what your answer is, do you think people there's something that you're like, born to do? Like, what is it like you said that something got you into that field? And you were comfortable with it? I think the word you used was like I was comfortable with it. I like to think about being uncomfortable as being something to at least try to do often. But also I believe that like whatever you're naturally drawn towards whatever your natural inclinations are, I say what you would do for free, like whatever you would do for free. if money wasn't a thing, you should try to do that for a living.

Athan (43:35):

Was medicine that for you? Or do you wake? Like, do you think you were born to go into medicine? Or did you do this after?

Bev (43:44):

I mean, I think part of the draw was money, because you've made good money as a nurse and a nurse practitioner. But it was also something I like doing. If it's something I was born to do, I don't know. Because I consider myself kind of creative. I think what I was born to do, was more down a creative route. I don't know what that is, or what should have been. So I didn't know that I was going to be in the medical field.

Athan (44:22):

So if you felt like, I agree with you, I think one of the reasons why I'm creative and like why I've gravitated towards small business and creating, you know, solutions for people that people are willing to pay for and solve helping solve problems and they all the things around being an entrepreneur, I feel like a lot of that came from you. And so why do you think you go that direction?

Bev (44:50):

I think because I didn't feel talented enough in that film, you know, whatever would have been I didn't feel so talented enough to do it. And there were a lot of risks involved. Because, it's not like a Creative Lab has a specific money to be made, you're taking a risk. So I think nursing, and all of that was a non risk taking. direction to go.

Athan (45:26):

Why don't you think you felt talented or skilled enough?

Bev (45:32):

I just never felt that. Fine. Never had any. Well, I never had any education to kind of bring that out, or have no one to support that. Yeah, so I didn't have anybody to help point me in a direction. Or say, you're pretty good at this, why don't you do this? I didn't feel talented enough to take that risk and do it on my own. Okay.

Athan (46:05):

I think a lot of people can relate to that, there's like, there's something that's kind of called us, it's always in our ear, it's always in the back of our mind. But we go another route, because we're too scared to listen to that tiny little voice and really, to jump feet first, or headfirst in the deep end.

Bev (46:29):

And I don't know, if you remember, in Las Vegas, when I did try to do the photography and the video, there were a lot of Ruffy. My bad idea was that we focused on musicians, and somewhere sewn into that little adventure, you realize that musicians have no money. And so we were not getting paid. We were getting paid very little people would white hot checks. You know, and so it was a big failure financially, on that little adventure that I took. I think that we will be back in and said, Whoa, let's take a non whiskey roll out. You know, yeah. Fair. I think so. And you defended me?

Athan (47:19):

Yeah. Well, it kind of might have reinforced, if you already had the feeling of not being talented or skill, if you had a little bit of a confidence issue, bumping up against failure can certainly just reinforce that divert. Okay, I'm not not going to go any further here. Yeah. But I always thought that was one of the coolest parts of my childhood. Honestly, it was like watching you do that. Like, you know, I obviously wasn't aware of the financial part of it. Because, as a kid, you don't really pay any attention to that, but I always thought it was. I think that's where I got it for. I mean, now they look back, I think, you doing that gave me the inspiration and it spurred me, like, I can create my own thing, I can do what I want to do. And seeing you and dad being a musician, watching him be on stage. And, I think about both those two things.

Bev (48:24):

Were very inspirational to me. Well, a Mac was robbed. But you know, it definitely was not anything that he could make money from at that point. You know, he had to keep his day job. And he'd loved being a musician and being on stage. You know, he was good at that. And he loved it.

Athan (48:42):

Yeah, so, yeah.

Bev (48:45):

Interesting. You know, he got to warm up from Mali, or not warm up, be the warm up. The initial band for barley hatchet and not Alice Cooper. was Alice Cooper, Alice Cooper. And these bands were not in their heyday at that point. Oh, they weren't. They were playing in small venues in Las Vegas. Yeah, but it was cute. It's cool to meet all these people. Whether Skinner, Leonard Skinner bad Yep.

Athan (49:17):

Yeah, I remember all that stuff. And just thinking that was so cool. I had a very unusual childhood in that, most people have a living room, which, for a large part of my life, we didn't have we had a band room, and I walk in there and there is just piled high with speakers and amplifiers, drum kits, guitars, microphones everywhere in there. I always just remembered to just be like, This is so cool. You know, I didn't find it to be an inconvenience at all, you know?

Bev (49:51):

Yeah. Now, it was an interesting few years for sure.

Athan (49:55):

Okay, so I want to switch gears a little bit and and Well, first before I switch gears too much, what were there things that you thought I was going to ask you about the day you they that you want to talk about or any any topics that you that we should talk about

Bev (50:13):

Now and as far as our personal lives go, No, I think you've asked the questions I kind of sort of expected and but took a few clothes I wasn't expecting, but that's good. So I'm good.

Athan (50:24):

Okay, I want to talk about your health, I want to talk about your habits and things because I kind of alluded to it earlier, but you've been doing these, I need to find a different word for it, because I don't like calling it a challenge. But that's what we call it. It's the 30 day habit challenge. But I'd like to call it something else when we have time to think about it. But nonetheless, it's a coaching. It's 30 days of coaching that helps people to really optimize habits to help them to feel great about their days, obviously, get into more optimal physical condition, whether that be through physical activity and nutrition and sleep and hydration and a lot of other things. And you've been participating in these for over a year. Yep. And what do you do well, how are you feeling about all of that? And like, what do you what, what do you feel like is working for you?

Bev (51:22):

Well, I think it's worked very well, nutrition, I think has been the biggest thing that I've come away with, as far as portion control and the macros and understanding the proteins and the carbs and the fat, kind of an issue, and not focusing on just watching your calories. Because I think most well, up to that point, I was only looking at calories, and I wasn't looking at the quality of those calories. I just struggled with weight gain, even though I wasn't eating, I was skipping meals, and drinking water. I haven't read of nutritional bad habits to overcome. I think that's probably been the biggest eye opener over the year, exercise has just still been a struggle for me to just get in the habit of doing it. And doing it. I don't like to sweat.

Athan (52:24):

Yeah, I was gonna ask you why? Why do you think that physical activity is the harder part for you?

Bev (52:30):

I think it takes a good commitment. I just haven't figured out how to get that commitment off and get it going. I'm a natural born couch potato. I have just had a hard time overcoming that. And now living in a small town. I know this is no excuse. But the closest gym is 20 miles away and I find hard stuff here. You've bought me stuff to work on my own. And in a lot of ways I prefer working here at the house working out here at the house, because I'm not wasting 20 minutes to drive to the gym at 20 minutes back. But I have no good excuse on why I haven't taken up and I'm shining now that if I had been doing better at that my weight loss and muscle gain would be a heck of a lot better than I've lost what 2022 pounds.

Athan (53:36):

I think in a year, you've done great with what you're doing.

Bev (53:39):

Yeah, I can see my face and the way my clothes fit. My endurance is a little bit better when I do Rockabye or run a mile or try to run a mile and some of that stuff that I know I've improved that I'm a little disappointed in myself in that I haven't really got the exercise thing down a lot better. Yeah.

Athan (54:06):

Again, not accepting any excuses from you but it does make a difference. You know environment is a thing people often what looks like a people problem is actually a environment problem by a situation problem. I think a lot of people listening to this might be able to relate to it. You know, there's things in their life or in where they live or whatever they just, it's an obstacle that's just enough to make it not easy to overcome or adapt.

Bev (54:36):

Right and another thing is I don't have an exercise buddy you know, there's only one here, there's not one single person here that goes to the gym that even I don't even see people going for walks on a regular basis. You know, so I don't have anybody to say hey, let's go to the gym and if I get hurt No, I don't really like that. But, I think sometimes I need to get in the butt to get busy and do it.

Athan (55:11):

you know, it just occurred to me and all the people who challenge the habit remotely like you do? Maybe we should have you guys do video workouts together, like we should try to get you guys to like you like that, so you're going to the gym together but from wherever you are, right? Like we did during the panel when the pandemic first happened, when all the gyms were shut down and everything we just had those video workouts and people, it kept people on track, you know? Right.

Bev (55:43):

Right. Awesome schedule is probably a big thing. You know, I'm retired. But I think almost everybody that I know knows that part of your challenges are working parts and so I think schedules would be a little bit of an issue for doing that yet. Yeah, I know that I think when you implemented the buddy thing, I think that did make a difference. Because we've had like two or three people that would say, Hey, did you exercise today? Or am I going into the gym? What do you do on it? And I think that did help a little bit.

Athan (56:24):

Yeah. It helps to just have someone like, kind of reminding you Yeah, and inspiring you. They're like, Hey, I went to the gym. And you're like, well, if they did it, I can do it, too. Yeah.

Bev (56:34):

that caboodle competitive edge king of kicks in like, oh, gosh, I can't let them beat me.

Athan (56:40):

Yeah, exactly. So what are some things that you would like to do better with your health? of fitness being besides like, maybe one, but are there other things?

Bev (56:55):

Exercise, I think that's important for me is to be able to do stuff with the grandkids and keep up with them. You know, when we've gone on hikes and stuff, I'm back there, huffing and puffing, and you guys are ahead of me. And, that time on went with Angelica to be enchanted? What's that? Val? That rock? chonda rock? Yeah, in town and rock, I had to stop so many times. And that was three or four years ago. We had to stop a lot for grandma to catch her breath. You know, so it's those kinds of things that I don't want to be, I don't want to feel entitled. So yeah, man, I don't want to feel old. I want to stay as physically active as I can untangle, I can't get any more. And, I have no health problems, I have no excuse for not being able to go out and do things, I don't have hip problems, knee problems, heart problems, so I have the excuse of keeping up with the grandkids. That's unlike kayaking and hiking, and so I want to be able to do those things.

Athan (58:08):

Yeah. I love that. And I mean, that's your why, and that's your inspiration. I think a lot of people don't keep that in state, like I've mentioned earlier, like that in state as the motivation to be like, oh, yeah, I probably should get out of bed and workout today. You know, because it's hard to think about some distant future. Yeah. It's not always right at the top of mind? Yeah. Okay, well,

Athan (58:43):

Any questions for me? Anything that you have burning questions about?

Bev (58:46):

Let's talk about what's your favorite exercise?

Athan (58:49):

My favorite exercise? I always say that the squat is the king of all exercises. If you had to, if someone told you, you can only do one exercise for the rest of your life, I would choose the squat because I think it has. I think it has so many play incorporates it's almost a total total body movement. So it incorporates so many different parts of the body, it has a lot of pay off. It has an effect on your hormones, it'll have an effect on even just flexibility and mobility and all that other stuff. So when I was teaching the army master fitness trainer course I would always when I taught how to do the squat. That would always be kind of my quick little umbrella. Very, excuse me elevator speech for that as I think this should be the one. And if you can't squat, it's also a really, I think it's a high indicator of just overall health and well being. For a person, if you start losing the ability to squat That's not a great sign.

Bev (1:00:01):

That's a good fact, because I'd tell my mom to kind of do a modified squat, with a chair, but a normal chair behind her and stuff. And she did that, then I think that would help strengthen her legs, keep your provider from Fall offs and stuff like that. And she does not walk very far at all. Her knees start hurting or something. But I think the squats would be good for her. And I thought you were going to say something like, burpees? Because that seems to be real, you know? mentaI?

Athan (1:00:38):

Yeah, no one that's like a total body. But for me it does it incorporate those really big. I mean, it does incorporate large muscle groups in that your legs are somewhat involved, but it doesn't involve them enough for me to make it my, what I think are my favorite movement.

Bev (1:01:00):

Cool. Anything, I do have another question for you? That's not physical therapy. Okay. Yeah. That's a dream of yours, that you have yet to accomplish?

Athan (1:01:15):

Well, I'm a dreamer. So I have a lot of dreams. The one that's coming to mind right now. Currently, I'm building a basketball tennis project. And what I would really like to do is take that idea for smaller communities where they haven't quite yet, they don't have big chain gyms or the gyms, like what I like, what I believe in, that are really effective for people. I'd like to develop a little of what I call hubs of health and wellness into smaller communities that don't quite have access to that yet. You know, try to take a building that you put a fitness center there, maybe some yoga, some spin classes, some sort of like providers, whether they be physical therapists or chiropractors or massage therapists, that just kill people kill people to be well. I'd like to do that a few more times than just this one here in Bastrop.

Bev (1:02:25):

So physical fitness, obviously, is an issue in this tiny little town in Kansas. I've tried to thank Mike Athan and figure out something to do here. And really the only thing I can think of is at the park, do those feroza stations that you go to, and you do so yeah, there's one of those. Yeah, one. There's one in Walsall near the hospital, that I think has 18 stations or something like that. Yeah, airport care is very small, so we wouldn't be able to have that many. But finding grants, and the money to do that is a big issue for that small town like this.

Athan (1:03:10):

I'd start even more simply because that's like city property. It's a city park. There's a lot of red tape. I mean, there's plenty of years.

Bev (1:03:17):

I'm on the city council now. Right? I'll go ahead and do that. Yeah, I've talked about alien regulation, but this is my second month or so. So that's one of my agendas. When you do something to promote health.

Athan (1:03:35):

I would take it, I would back that off a little bit. And there's probably like a big enough garage somewhere that's not being maximized or used very well.

Athan (1:03:47):

And there you go, Joe, the high school gym.

Athan (1:03:49):

That's because your school burned down. It's just the gym there. So I would invest in or even. I mean, it doesn't have to be great equipment, but I would just create a city or town gym, that's free to the citizens there. And then there's going to be a kid there. There's going to be somebody who's interested in being a trainer, somebody who needs a job, they can manage the gym. And I think they talk about changing lives, talking about making a decision and making a move that I mean for that town. Like you said, nobody in that town, none of their kids. I bet a lot of people move away from that town, because they don't feel like they can become their optimal.

Bev (1:04:31):

Well, once the people that live here, have lived here forever. But I don't like myself. They lived here and then they came back. But I see all the obstacles and all the problems and it's kind of frustrating.

Athan (1:04:50):

Yeah, every one of those problems is an opportunity.

Bev (1:04:53):

Right. But the gym is actually managed by the Alumni Association. And so it's already, I think they already have insurance and stuff, because they have some events, they're not very many. I think the challenge would be to find something that doesn't require a lot of equipment. You know, there may be stuff you just bring in yourself like a yoga mat, or the stretchy bands, or, I mean, I haven't.

Athan (1:05:30):

I haven't been there. But if it's just a big open space, you have a basketball court. So you could host somebody who has a group, who's gonna host a group workout, like you said, they could say, buy a set of dumbbells or buy a kettlebell or something. And a yoga mat, and everybody just brings their own stuff. And you could mostly just do bodyweight. But that's how I started, you remember, I had a boot camp out in a park? Yeah, people that I brought what I could, and they, no, I guess nobody who came brought anything of their own, but it was just mostly bodyweight stuff.

Bev (1:06:06):

And a good point is the footpath when it's right there. Um, there's graphs now it's not, and it used to be the track. So you could use that to run or do some outdoor stuff. There's no hair, it's like you made us. Do you remember those hills? Oh, yeah, that was out of town. There's none of that and there's netpac, or there's no benches to one up and down.

Athan (1:06:33):

I would, if I were the city, if I run the city council, and I want to improve the health of the citizens of that town, I would simply just hire a trainer, I would hire a part time trainer with whatever city funds you have. And just tell them to be as creative as they can be, they'll find ways to do it, though they'll try a few things, some things will work some things well, but just offer free opportunities to that town and the city wouldn't even have to pay somebody that much to be a part time trainer.

Bev (1:07:02):

I'll have to check on that. I don't know where I would go to find a trainer other than maybe start at the recreation center. In Russell, which is the gym that I go to and see if there's someone there that I think the trainer actually travels from Hayes.

Athan (1:07:19):

Somebody would have some Kisa, a nephew or cousin somebody who's interested in fitness, who maybe isn't certified now. But I would be willing to get certified or something. You know, there's always people like that around.

Bev (1:07:34):

Now. I'd love to consult with you, and how do you help us set something up?

Athan (1:07:38):

I would love to be? It would be? It'd be so cool to help the people of Dorrans to be healthier.

Bev (1:07:48):

Yeah, let's do our biggest fundraising for the park, as we're tearing down the bathroom and building a new bathroom. So we've actually got a grant for that. And we have to match it. So that's our challenge is

Athan (1:08:01):

less cool. I'm so glad you're on that city council. Yeah, that's it. That's an aspiration of mine is to kind of somehow get into some sort of a position where I can help a large community of people rather than just kind of how I'm doing it now.

Bev (1:08:20):

Right. But

Athan (1:08:22):

Alright, well, we've definitely been chatting for quite a while. And, I think we should probably wrap it up barring any other questions or anything that you wanted to talk about. No, that was fun. Yeah, I really find I appreciate you taking the time. I'm sure our listeners will kind of get a little bit of insight into who I am and where I come from, because you are where I come from. And, again, I'm just so thankful for the person that you've been in my life. Not only you know a lot of my success is directly related to you. So thank you for that. I love you very much.

Bev (1:09:05):

I love you too. And you've been an inspiration for me and I'm glad I'm able to look at you and thank the kid who ended up very good, despite all the setbacks I felt that we created.

Athan (1:09:21):

Who would have thought? Yeah, that we'd be here now. Now well,

Bev (1:09:25):

so I'm very proud of you.

Athan (1:09:28):

I thank you, I appreciate it. I'm proud of you. You continue to do a lot of big things. So are the Chiefs gonna win tomorrow night or Monday night? Uh, they're playing Monday night

Bev (1:09:39):

that poor chiefs I don't know what happened to them this year.

Athan (1:09:42):

It's gonna turn out to be a good thing. They needed us like this, but it's been disappointing to say the least.

Bev (1:09:50):

You know, I think we had high expectations for them to maintain that level of playing. And, you can't do that, I don't think you can maintain that like that.

Athan (1:10:03):

I don't like everybody's playing. Everybody knows everybody thought that chiefs were the team that had to be beat. So everybody's building their team to beat us while our team beats everybody else.

Bev (1:10:14):

Well, and they've changed their strategies based on Kansas City Chiefs history and fair, we haven't figured out how to change our strategy to keep them on their toes. You know, so bless their hearts. You’re always a Chiefs fan, even when they're not doing good. So I'm there waiting for the ladder of what

Athan (1:10:39):

Same you know, here see how they turn it around this year, but yeah, anyway, I'll go

Bev (1:10:45):

if they get to the playoffs cuz it's not liquid. Yeah, likely.

Athan (1:10:50):

Yeah. So. All right. Well, I hope you have a good rest of your day.

Athan (1:10:58):

I'm so grateful that you joined us for this episode of doing the work podcast. Providing you with value is why I do this and I hope you got something out of this episode that you can put into action into your life. If you enjoyed listening to this episode, please share this episode with your friends and family who are looking to level up in life. Sign up for our email list at To receive special offers and discounts from our sponsors. subscribe to the podcast on Spotify, YouTube, Amazon and anywhere podcasts are hosted. Thanks again for joining the doing the word podcast and we'll see you on the next episode.